A Good Marriage an Eternal Goal

My wife and I renewed our marriage vows yesterday. We returned to the place we made them 35 years ago. Four of our six children accompanied us. Memories swirled as we relived not just our wedding, but also the past 35 years of marriage. We reviewed both the bliss and the blasts. For marriage, and parenthood, deliver both great joy and great heartache.

Revered educators and leaders influenced our early years of marriage. David O. McKay, an educator and religious leader, declared, “No success can compensate for failure in the home”. Harold B. Lee, a welfare leader during the great depression, stated, “The greatest good you can do, will be within the walls of your own home”. Charles Astle, an early mentor, taught us the importance of focusing on our marriage while our children grew, or when they left, we would find ourselves worlds apart. My father joked (we thought at first, understand at present) that the first million years of a marriage are the toughest. So, do not make any major decisions until you get that far. All four pieces of advice provide strength and wisdom during our marriage.

Marriage requires sacrifice, selflessness, and persistence. Both Carol and I have sacrificed to keep our marriage strong. We both balance the needs of the other—and our children and grandchildren—with our own needs. Marriages cannot survive one partner always receiving and the other always sacrificing. Balance brings blessings to both. Finally, we persist in building our relationship. Marriage requires effort during conflict, during stress, and during good times. We did not surrender to temporary challenges, differing personalities, or contrary goals. A strong marriage needs sacrifice selflessness and persistence.

My wife and I renewed our marriage vows because we remain committed to our marriage. We endured strained times in those 35 years. We worked through hard decisions with passion and constraint. We do not consider our marriage perfect or plan to live “happily ever after”. We intend to remain committed to working out the rough spots and coming to a unity. Our efforts have already blessed us with six wonderful children, four outstanding daughters- and son-in-law, and nine beatiful grandchildren, so far.

The day we renewed our vows, we visited an older couple that befriended us during the early years of our marriage. Earl is 88 and cannot hear anymore. Johanna is 80 and cannot walk anymore. They have lived together in marriage for 65 years. They are well into their first million years.

To those who want to throw it all away in just five years, to those who marry never intending it to last more than 5 years, we share the examples and principles that helped us. We encourage you to reject the current fad of failed marriages and recycled relationships. Go for the gold and platinum in your marriage. Truly, no other success can compensate for failure in the home and the greatest good you will do will be within the walls of your own home.