Give Thanks During this Season

Gratitude fills my heart lately. It bubbles to the surface in small surprises. Smiles seem to conquer my countenance. I’m developing an attitude of gratitude. It feels good.

Gratitude Lifts the Soul

Many great authors and teachers describe the healing effects giving thanks provides the soul.

G.K. Chesterton wrote “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

Epictetus said “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

Abraham Maslow taught “(Some people) have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy.”

Thomas Monson outlined “We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.”

Our Focus this Month

This past week, stories about Black Friday (the biggest shopping day in America) outnumbered stories on Thanksgiving. Our obsession with commercialism, buying, and self-centered gratification contribute not to peace and joy. It increases stress, fosters contention, develops crushing disappointment, short-term gratification, and longer-term debt (with its companions despair and pressure). Yet, for so many their focus for November fixes on Black Friday.

Giving thanks, instead, lifts the soul, brings peace, and reduces stress. Take a moment as you read my list to let the words paint pictures on your soul. Then, notice the smile that comes to your face, the light in your heart, and the spring in your step. Our lives change when we shift our focus to giving thanks for all the good around us.

Consider giving thanks for each the following. Then, add your items to the list:

• Veterans of current and past wars who placed our safety above their security in battlefields far from home (did you ponder on November 11)
• Mothers and fathers who sacrificed their todays to help us have better tomorrows
• Smiles springing from innocent children enjoying the joy of the wind or leaves falling
• Shelter whether it be a box in an alley or a home in the valley
• Food in our pantry—or a community pantry to feed others
• Principles of government that can recreate the greatest nation on earth
• Songs that lift, inspire, and cause us to whistle, sing or dance
• Teachers that taught us with little financial reward and too few words of thanks; but hugs of gratitude when we see them years or decades later
• Friends forming rings of protection, support, and camaraderie that circumvent the globe, the years, and the memories
• Strangers with needs that make our despairs seem small if we will but lift eyes to see and hands to help
• Family and friends who successfully recuperate from dangerous surgeries
• Ailing pain filled lives that finally slip into peaceful slumber and reward
• Our Savior, Christ the Lord, whose gift of grace, ensures we can find joy

My family and I wish you the happiness that comes from an attitude of gratitude. Please pass it to others you know that need less stress and more joy.

Family Night at the Symphony

Last week our family continued a 48 year tradition. We went to the symphony together. My wife and I were there with our 6 children, their spouses, and all of our grandchildren (including our six month old granddaughter). In addition, my sister was there with her family. We all enjoyed this wonderful family tradition started by my parents 48 years ago.

My mother and father instilled in their children a love of the arts and culture of this world. They did so at great sacrifice. They did not drive the newest cars. We did not own a boat or a big cabin by a lake. Instead, we soaked in the culture, the arts, nature, and more. Mom and Dad built memories for their children to treasure for a life time.

We Started Young

I remember attending the LA Symphony in the Hollywood Bowl in Southern California. I think I was maybe 10 years old. Our whole family was there. We (along with all the major patrons of the bowl) ate our dinner, with candlelight, along the walks leading into the bowl.

I don’t remember all of the music, but I remember Zorro appearing at the top of the hill and riding his horse all the way down to the stage. I remember someone, it could have been Peter Pan or Tinkerbelle, flying through the air from the trees at the side of the bowl to the top of the bowl. I’m assuming Disney sponsored that children’s evening at the symphony. I just remember how exciting it was.

That began a long history of symphony, theater, museums, and more. I saw Zero Mostel play Rev Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof. I saw Richard Burton, Julie Andrews, and Robert Goulet in Camelot. My parents started us very young.

As My Children Came Mom & Dad Continued the Tradition

We moved to another state, but Mom found the symphony performances for children. Our symphony called them the “Lollipop” concerts.She bought season tickets for four performances a year: the young performers (featuring youth soloists), the Halloween concert, the Christmas concert, and a concert featuring the story about a major composer.

Mom & Dad still buy season tickets. Our children now take their children. I observed, as a proud grandpa, as each of the children sat enthralled as the trolls romped on Bald Mountain, the storm troopers marched to John Williams, and the goblins galloped to the thundering sounds of Stravinsky and Prokofiev.

The six month old did not stir. She did not fuss or cry. She sat for 90 minutes glued to the sounds and sights before her. The 18 month old also sat transfixed at the bows, the trombones, and other strings and sounds. The 10, 7, 6, 4, and 3 year olds have grown up with the symphony. They look forward with delight to each concert. My adult children continue the tradition. Some of them attend the symphony. Others attend the ballet. Some the opera.

Share The Arts with Your Family

I’m so grateful to my Mom and Dad for establishing this tradition. They sacrificed to provide for us. We now sacrifice to provide the experience for our families. I encourage you to sacrifice for your family. Most community symphonies provide inexpensive (relatively) concerts for children. They recognize the need to develop artistic tastes in the upcoming generation or audiences will dwindle even more.

Cultivating an appreciation for the arts proves to increase intelligence, study habits, and grades as children grow older. Call your local arts council and find what offerings you can share with your family.

Join me in November when I share how we shaved $1,200 of our monthly grocery bill

Lessons Mom Taught Me

I thought I posted this blog on July 25. I found it among my drafts. Sorry it’s late.

My mother turned 82 this week. She formed a lot of my thinking and attitude. While my father taught by aphorism, Mom taught by experience. I learned the following lessons from her.

Choose Ye This Day Whom Ye Shall Serve

Mom chose to serve God at a young age. She taught her children to do the same. She never coerced, forced, or brainwashed us to believe. She firmly believed it had to be our choice. Then, she taught us how to make choices. She demonstrated that serving God included many choices after the first one. However, that first choice made all the others easier.

She helped us recognize the need for rules and order to keep society and families safe. Every time we went out she would remind us to obey rule “4, 7, 12, & 13”. We never knew what the numbers meant. We just knew they meant no drugs, no drinking, no smoking, no immorality, and no hurting others. Her final comment to us would seal the message “Be Good and Have Fun. You can do both. You just have to work harder at it”.

Build Great Memories

Mom taught me the power of memories over materials. She inspired us to do things. I sold light bulbs door-to-door to earn the money to tour Canada at age 15 on my way to the Boy Scout National Jamboree in Coeur d’ Lain, Idaho. Two years later my light bulbs got me to Japan for the World Jamboree where I hiked Mount Fuji in a typhoon.

She arranged twice for me to learn grace and charm through Ruddick's Cotillion and a private dance teacher. She took us to New Orleans for Mardi Gras when my father had a convention to attend. She and Dad stayed for the convention. We children flew home by ourselves when I, as the oldest, was 12. She sponsored a party at my house every year for 9 years on the night of the great cross-town rivalry football game. She invited our friends from both schools so that we would stay close and not let the rivalry ruin our friendships.

She gave me the idea for my first date on my 16th birthday. It was my date’s 16th birthday too. I’d loved her since we were 13. I will never forget the date, nor the day April 21, 1970. I picked Mara Lyn up around 3:30. Mom drove us (I didn’t have my license yet) to the Hollywood/Burbank Airport. We flew to San Diego, caught a taxi, that drove us over the bridge to Coronado Island. We dined at the Hotel del Coronado. No one else was in the restaurant. We walked on the beach at sunset. We flew back to Burbank and met our friends (including Mara Lyn’s boyfriend Ken) at Farrell’s Ice Cream Parlor for a party.

Mom recently paid for all of her children and their spouses to tour the Holy Land. Dad joined us. Illness prevented Mom from travelling with us. We missed her. She gave us a great memory.I’ve built a lot of memories on my own since then. I’ve helped my children build great memories.

Serve to Your Fellow Being

Mom gave birth to four children. She wanted more, but medical problems prevented it. So, she and Dad fostered five other children: 2 Native American boys under 12, 2 disadvantaged teens, and 1 Japanese foreign exchange student. All them were loved and treated like family. We still keep in touch with some of them.

In addition, Mom quietly looked for people in need. She anonymously gave them money to buy clothing, food, and other necessities of life. We only found out about it later in life. She donated to our Church, the community, and others. She encouraged her children to volunteer for an international non-government organization in England, Chile, Australia, and Brazil.

Mom taught me so many more ideals, values, and responsibilities. She taught us to get all the education we could. She went for a graduate degree in her 50’s. All of her children graduated from college. Two of us have graduate degrees. She taught us to travel as she traveled. She taught us to work and work hard. She hosted her own cooking show on television in the 50’s. She taught me the equality of the sexes and races before civil rights. She gave me such great experiences and lessons.

Thanks mom. I love you. I appreciate all you taught me. Thanks for the memories.

Bonneville School of Sailing Helps Me Achieve a Major Family Goal

I achieved one of my long-term goals yesterday. I skippered a sailing boat for 90 minutes.

I took part of my family sailing in a 25 foot vessel. I will complete the goal when I take another part of my family sailing in August. I also moved closer to completing the impossible goal I set the first time I heard Barbara Sher speak. I found the connection that will allow me to take my six children and their spouses sailing the South Pacific. I achieved this dream by following the GoalsWork model.

First, we set a SMART goal.

1. Specific: I determined that I would begin learning to sail after my oldest children were married, but before my youngest children married. (We won’t sail the South Pacific until all of them are married.) We had to sail on a large body of water, but not the ocean. We had to have a qualified instructor to teach us.
2. Measurable: The ship had to be bigger than 20 feet. We had to learn at least four sailing skills in our first attempt. We had to sail a minimum of 1 hour.
3. Achievable: My first attempts would be close to home. Further away was not achievable. The experience could not deplete our savings too much and we would not pay too much.
4. Relevant: Carol and I set a major direction in our life when we established family as one of the four most important facets of our life. We decided to create strong family memories to continue family unity. Sailing together qualified as a great family memory.
5. Time-limited: We had to begin learning how to sail by 2012.

Second, others helped us achieve our goal.

Enoch Chapman introduced me to Todd and Louise Frye three years ago. Todd and Louise own Bonneville School for Sailing and Seamanship. I told them the first time we met that I wanted to learn to sail. They made it possible with their Family Sailing Outing. They take 5 people for 2 hours for only $125.

Third, we acted

I maintained contact with Todd and Louise during the three years I needed to accomplish other goals (like writing my third book and finishing my master’s degree). I discussed the opportunity with my wife. I contacted Louise to book the two afternoons.

Fourth, we managed our limitations

Time and money were the biggest real limitations to our goal. We managed the first limitation, time, by waiting until I finished my degree (which added 17 hours to my week). The managed the second limitation by pooling what we would have spent for my father’s day gifts to pay for the event. My wife’s motion sickness presented another real limitation we needed to address. We did so with medicine. It worked just great.

We faced one huge windmill or FLAR (false limitations appearing real): it’s silly. Believing that we could or should go sailing seemed silly. We should use the money for more realistic pursuits. Learning to sail was a selfish dream that took away from the family. We overcame that limitation by tying the money to a father’s day gift and sharing the experience with family.

Fifth, we synergized with my GoalsWork Team

Finally, I owe part of achieving the goal to my GoalsWork team. We meet each month on the second Wednesday from 4:30-6:00. My team mates encouraged me, cajoled me, and kept this goal on my radar. When, they helped me manage my FLAR “It’s silly”.

I hope sharing how the GoalsWork Model helped us achieve a major goal helps you take impossible dreams off of their pedestals and help you achieve them. It made ours so achievable we now wonder why we don’t do this once a month.

Finally, it was so worth it.

I also need to share that the experience more than validated the expense. I loved my sailing experience. I felt the cares and worries drop away from me as we sailed across the lake in wonderful silence. Feeling the tug of the sail, the resistance in the rudder, and breeze in my face; created sensations of tranquility, accomplishment, and serenity. I now know why so many people prefer the quiet elegance of sailing over the  noise and commotion of ski boats, speed boats, and other motorized vehicles. The skipper and my family all commented on the smile that dominated my face the whole time we were on the water. Yes, it was so worth it.

Next month I’ll share how my mother taught me to make great memories and how dreams can come true.

New Look! New Blogs!

I am thrilled to announce a change in my blog. (Can't you see my thrill by the picture on the left)

First, you will notice the new look. We wanted to update it and make it more exciting. Also, since this blog is about achieving goals, I introduced a subliminal suggestion in the background--picture goals. The background picture will change regularly to different places that people like to go. I love Hawaii. I visited Hawaii six times--and someone else paid the price each time. We shared how to do that in our blog on February 13, 2010.

Second, we are please to announce that Larry Stevenson now offers three blogs for your inspection.

Larry on Careers will examine the goal of improving your career. It will focus on selecting the right career, finding a job, gaining new skills, and receiving bigger raises and better promotions. We will post it on Fridays. We hope you will follow it also.

Larry on Business will explore the goal of growing your business. It will focus on business planning, sales and marketing, accounting and finance, legal, human resource management, exit strategies and more. We will post in Wednesdays. We hope you small- and home-based business owners will enjoy it.

GoalsGuyLarry will continue to explore personal and family goals. We will focus more on vacations, purchases, personal development, marital communications, and such. We will post it only once a month on the last Friday of each month. We hope everyone who wants to improve their lives and families will continue to enjoy it.

So, each week we will explore how to achieve career, business, and family goals. Choose one or all three to follow. Also, please invite your friends to follow also.

Lessons Dad Taught Me

My dad turns 81 tomorrow. He still swims 3+ miles a day. He still inspires me.

Dad, together with my mom, molded my character. He instilled a strong work ethic, creativity, and an insatiable thirst for knowledge. He shared nuggets of wisdom through phrases he repeated throughout his life. Not all the nuggets originated with him, but they shaped his (and now my) life.

I would like to share a few with you. I hope you find them as helpful as I have.

"Man is that he might have joy" gave me purpose. I seek joy, not mere transitory happiness, in every aspect of life. I recognize that the trials and tribulations in life help me appreciate the joy more.

"He that does not learn from the past is doomed to repeat it" guided me to evaluate my efforts and the efforts of others to learn how to do it better next time. I avoid many pitfalls by observing how others fell into them or avoided them.

"He that must be compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise steward" instilled initiative. I do not wait to think, to ponder, or to act. I observe, analyze, and act within my stewardship to try and do the best I can.

"The guilty man fleeth when no man pursueth" encouraged me to act honorably, to keep my conscience clear, and to beware of people who "protest too much".

My dad gave me a wonderful inheritance. His principles, learned through repetition and example, inspire me to be a better person, a better husband and father, and a better professional. I hope my sharing them once helps you as much.

Happy Birthday, Dad...and thanks

Select Your Email & Voicemail Wisely

I want to discuss the choices some people make in selecting email addresses and voice mail greetings.

Select Professional Email Names
I work with a lot of people that seek new jobs or want to start businesses. They constantly amaze me with their email addresses. You must recognize the situation before I share some examples. Remember, these people want to convince potential employers that they will be good employees or potential clients that they will be good suppliers. They should select names that communicate their name in simple, professional terms.

Some people, in the effort to impress, send potential employers email names like the following: "blue_420129", "atomic_1999", "pgyankee2", "onefromcanadaeh", "dadsgirlhi", and "hotcoed". These are real email addresses I encountered while helping people find jobs. How do you think potential employers feel about hiring "dadsgirlhi" or "hotcoed"?

Voice Mail Greetings
Another common problem deals with voice mail greetings. I remember one frustrated person that had called scores of companies and no one would ever return her calls. So, I called her and listened to the following greeting "Hi You know you reached the right number if you recognize my voice. Please do not leave a message if you do not recognize my voice". I immediately understood why no one returned her calls--she told them not to unless they recognized her voice.

Job seekers need to change voice mail greetings to communicate clearly that they contacted the person they wanted. The greeting should include the person's name not just the phone number. Your voice should express warmth and welcome. Ensure that you return calls the same day, even if you leave a message after hours.